Fear
by Sufferer's Descendant
Summary: Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have just lost everything. Your friends...your place in society...and your will to live dwindles like the last sparks of dying flames.
1. Exiled

You put up a bold front to hide how you really feel and say you don't care, but the truth is...you are very scared one day he will turn on you.  
He will. They all have. How can this time be any different?  
It won't be any different, you are the world's biggest fucking screw up and you are sure as hell that you're going to do something to make him turn on you.  
You just know.  
There is no logical explanation for why things play out the way they do. Maybe God is playing a cruel joke on you, just to make you suffer. To make your life a miserable existence that you will have to live through.

You are KARKAT VANTAS and you have just been kicked out of society, your friends have turned their backs on you. They won't even open the door when you show up in person, you always leave with a sinking feeling that worms it's way into your beating bloodpusher and even further down into your stomach.  
You want to cry, but you've cried too much that you have no more tears to shed. Not another drop of red will fall, not now...and certainly not in the future either. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't do it again.  
You've been broken down and beaten, shoved away, and thrown unceramoniously out on your ass by the very people who you believed were your friends.

You feel empty, almost numb inside after the latest attempt. No one wants to seek you out, not unless it was to scorn you in person. You've had it hard and you're tired of all the shit you've been through, some days you just sit around and hope that whatever mystical being that was tugging your strings would just strike you down. That he will put you out of your misery like the wounded animal you know you're turning into, you don't want to but there's not a damned thing you could do about it.

You no longer eat more than once every twenty four hours, sleeping away the rest of the time that your body isn't demanding food of you. Though, you don't always want to eat, hoping that somehow that your lack of eating will permit you to just die off in a painless manner. But you still hang around, sleeping in your recuperacoon just to be doing something other than just being a useless sack of bones and flesh.

You have grown considerably thinner over the passing weeks, even despite Crabdad's attempt to get you to eat more than once a day. There's little that your lusus could do to convince you to eat, despite the food he brings and the attempts he makes to get you to eat. Surely, you're intent to make yourself suffer. There's no reason why you shouldn't, since it's your own fault that you have no friends. Half the time, you're sure your lusus wants to give up on you for being so stubborn.

It's a wonder that Crabdad has yet to, but you shouldn't be surprised. You know that the only way he'll leave is if he dies, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon. You're grateful that he's still around...even if you won't admit it, you need the comfort of his presence since he's all you have now. Even if it won't last forever, you're still glad...  
You want to be coddled by him as you were when you were just a grub, hiding in the shelter of his shadow and behind his powerful claws from the monsters of the world.

How you wish you could turn back the clock and fix everything...but it's too late and you know you can't. Not even if you talk to your past self, you know that you won't listen. You are alone now, stubborn and just as angry as ever. Even more so since you quit eating, quit talking, and quit doing anything but sleeping except when you need to eat. Though you eat less and less every day, your body sucking out the nutrients it needs from your skin and making your gray flesh tighten up considerably around your bones. Especially around your torso, though it's just now barely starting to show. 


	2. Abandonment

You stopped counting the days it had been since you were exiled, just sleeping all the time for lack of better things to do. You had given up on your Trollian, letting it fall inactive from disuse.

One day, you choose to abandon everything. There's nothing left anymore, not here. A surge of anger rushes through your system, you destroy all that you held dear previously. You are no longer the same, your posters fall to pieces as you shred them. When you're done there, you turn to break everything else you can get ahold of. Your cases are scattered from your violent fit, some disks are broken from you stepping on them but you don't care. They hold nothing but pain for you now, there's nothing that means anything. You shred up the sofa you spent your entire grubhood on, watching stupid romcoms because you just wanted to know what it was like to feel what it was like to know what they felt. Of course, you never admitted that you watched them to any of the other trolls. Or that you just wanted to know what it felt like to fall for someone and have them be your matesprit, to be cared for by someone other than Crabdad. He loved you unconditionally, though he raised you into what you were now. A nearly full-grown troll.

It wasn't him that had broken you, that shattered your hopes and dream bubbles of living in harmony among your fellow trolls. It had been those trolls he spent the time getting to know that had broken him, everything he hoped and dreamed for and no one had even tried to stop his banishment. That thought fueled you on, encouraging and feeding your rage as you continued to break things and throw them.

When at last you were tired, the adrenaline rush fading and leaving you near breathless. You gathered up your clothes, a few necessities, and your husktop, shoving them into a bag before leaving your former hive. It was nothing like it had been and even as you tromped down the stairs, you felt nothing for this place anymore. Though you had wallowed in self-pity, fought with yourself and Crabdad, you didn't give two flying fucks about your hive anymore. It was a building and you were abandoning it to it's fate, who cared if it crumbled? You were leaving the sopor you slept in, there wasn't a need for you to even depend on it anymore. You had all you needed right there, in a bag on your back.

You were sure to have your weaponry with you as well, knowing that you might need it wherever you were going. Who knew what dangers lay in your future, you certainly weren't going out unprepared. Whether Crabdad followed you out or not, you found that you didn't care. You wanted your guardian to come with you, but you couldn't do anything but plead with him to join you. And that was beneath you now, why should you have to plead and beg? If he followed, then he followed and you would be glad he was there.

If not, then who were you to complain?  
You weren't anyone anymore, a traveler with nothing but his name and the things he had chosen to bring along with him before he left his home.

-Sollux Captor's P.O.V.-

It's been sweeps since anyone had heard anything out of Karkat Vantas, ever since Equius had been the one to toss him out on his ass and call him a worthless low blood. The rest of us had stood aside and watched, Gamzee was oddly absent at the time or maybe he would've been the one to reprimand Zahhak. The rest of us could do nothing, nothing but watch as our once leader was unceremoniously kicked out of our lives.

Little did we know, it might've been the last time we ever saw his face. That hurt, heart broken, and defeated look upon his face as he was forced to leave. Though he didn't shed any tears that day, I could see them clearly just as Terezi could smell them as they threatened to well up and spill over.

As much as I wanted to attack Zahhak for taking charge in Gamzee's absence, I knew I wasn't a match for him. Even with my psychonic powers at my disposal, he'd win out eventually though it would've been through sheer brute force that he succeeded. That stubborn, beast-loving brute. He was creepy as it was, without all of the fetishes he tries to keep secret. His appearance alone could send a giant cluck-beast running for the hills. Even the drones of past would run from him when they saw his horrid appearance walking down the street.  
His sweating and fetishes just made it worse, it was a wonder that Nepeta even put up with that monstrosity of a troll.

It had been far too long that KK had even been on his trollian, the status of which no longer said offline but inactive. It was as if that he simply vanished off the face of the planet, where had he gone?  
None of them could deny that there were certain aspects in the red-blooded troll that had saved their asses from mass self destruction more times than they could count. The latest attempt was currently going on in the main facility, Equius and Eridan going at it with insults, none as original or amusing as KK's. If it didn't stop soon, those two might just destroy the entire building if left alone.

We all had been taking turns to break up the fights, Terezi, Feferi, Kanaya, Vriska, myself, sometimes Gamzee though he hardly cared enough to step in to put a stop to it. He usually was eating his pies of sopor and drinking faygo, almost constantly though it was the same. It seemed as though there was a hint of urgency behind his actions of doing so, like he was trying to drown out some inexplicable pain that had been inflicted on him.  
He seemed almost...miserable, though he was usually spacing out and acting like his slap-happy self generally. He had been consumed by his thoughts on whatever went through his head every day, never paying attention to anyone unless the confronted him directly to prompt him about something.

Today was no different than the day before, it was Terezi's day to break up the fight we all knew was coming. I think everyone was growing sick of it, the same old routine that we all had fallen into when it came to Equius and Eridan. Nepeta was strangely quiet, hiding in a corner with her blue tail curled around her feet as she stared blankly off at nothing. Her eyes reflected the figures of Eridan and Equius as they started up their daily argument, though it was as though she wasn't seeing them.

Everyone knew she had feelings for KK, even if he never acknowledged them openly. Even he wasn't that blind, he had to know what she felt for him. Now that he was gone, it wasn't hard to imagine how she felt. At the moment, I could sympathize with her some because KK had pretty much been the one to hold us all together despite what happened around here in previous events.

Ignoring most of the noise, I decided to leave the main facility to head on over to KK's former hive. I know I wouldn't find anything, nothing but the dusty, scattered cases of Romcoms. The only thing that had been missing from the hive when KK left was his clothes and his husktop. His Lusus had strangely disappeared as well, everything else was shredded up or destroyed. His posters that he so-lovingly cared for, claw marks had laced every last one of them until they were nothing more than scraps. Each one indistinguishable from another, faces, colors, all had faded through time and they were just meaningless scraps of paper.

Everything in the hive had fallen into ruin, the recuperacoon he once slept in had dried up. That supply of sopor was empty, though I had a sneaking suspicion of where it went. However, it doesn't matter now. No one sleeps in it anymore. 


	3. Nightmares

"KK...where are you?" Sollux sighed, moving about the room. He leafed through the shreds of faded posters, running his claws over the torn walls. The outside hadn't changed much, giving nothing away to the inside's torn up state. One wouldn't expect that such a thing could happen, the only thing in the room that hadn't been trashed had been the books on the shelves.  
Those, for some odd reason, had been left untouched. Perhaps they had been overlooked in KK's rage, who could tell? Maybe he hadn't the heart to destroy those, of all things. Yet, why? Did he plan to come back for them?  
Sollux felt his bloodpusher shudder a little bit, a burning feeling starting at the pit of his stomach. He missed Karkat, that much he couldn't deny but he couldn't go around and say it outloud either.

Karkat Vantas settled in the shelter of the abandoned, run down building he took to inhabiting with his Lusus. It wasn't much, but it was certainly better than the cold or heat of the desert he had traveled through previously just to find some place off the charts of the other trolls. He knew they didn't care, neither did he. Whatever he had left, it was torn the day he had been shunned from society.  
He used the bag he brought with him as a pillow, as he had so many other nights. His clothes and husktop were packed tightly inside, said electronic device protected by his unworn clothes.

His hair had grown long, unkepmt even. Despite that it was pulled back most of the time, it was evident that his hair was an untamed mass. His features were sharper, more feral, and more dangerous in appearance. To say that he didn't know how to defend himself would've been an understatement, even despite his maltreated body.

With an exasperated sigh, the troll closed his eyes in an attempt to rest. There was no true danger out here, nothing that was intelligent enough to get past the defenses of his Lusus. He still kept an ear out for sounds of stirring, sounds that didn't belong to him or his Lusus. Danger could lurk behind every sand dune, around the corners of the building. He often was careful, waiting before he acted in defense of himself. More often than not, there was little to no danger but it was a habit that he learned over the sweeps he had been out here.

Unintentionally, the troll found himself slipping into slumber's clutches. There wasn't much he could do to fight it, nothing much he did do to try and fight it. Sleep came when it was ready to, though it was seldom when he wanted it to. For now, it claimed him without so much as a struggle from him.

Colors swirled to life as dreams began, it was generally random but some days, dreams of his past would emerge. More often than not, he was never happy when he woke from them but even if he was snappish when he woke. Who would he take it out on? No one, he could only sigh and let it go and try to forget about it before going back to sleep.

The dream that began the cycle was one of that he hated most, Equius stood over him and pointed down at him. Karkat, himself, was bloody and beaten. His blood burned brightly for the other troll's to see, Gamzee was there as well. Though he wasn't present originally when the event took place. All the colors of their blood, they all mocked him and laughed. Their owners only glared down at him, looking down on him as though he weren't worthy to be in their presence.

With Equius Zahhak doing the honors of unceremoniously grabbing him by his neck, he had thought that the blue blood would kill him but instead he was thrown away. The words Zahhak had stated that day still burned in his mind, as fresh as every. "You don't belong here, lowblood. Leave, we're better off without a fuck up like you hanging around." Those words had stung then as they stung in the dream, tearing the seams of the stitched up scar on his heart.

Eventually, the dream gave way to another one that was similar, save for it was Gamzee telling him to leave. Then Nepeta, Terezi, all of them had their turn in telling him to leave. All of them laughing, their cruelty echoing even as he bolted upright, panting heavily. His hand clutched at his shirt, as if to loosen it as though it were choking him.

Tears started to well up, pricking at the back of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. They had done it and he had cursed them for it, he left because there had been no place for him there. There was only torture and suffering waiting for him should he ever return. Still, a part of him wanted to go back and glimpse that quiet, little society that shunned him. Just once more, that's all he could hope for but he knew he would never make the journey back just to glimpse upon his previous home and former friends, now-enemies.

Unnerved and irritated, he decided to seek out his Lusus for some sort of comfort from him. Crabdad never said anything comprehensible, but he always comforted him when he needed it. Even when he was crying his eyes out, hiccuping uncontrollably from whatever ailed him and had never asked questions as to why he was. He just comforted him until it was over, Karkat usually felt better afterward. Despite the awkwardness that consumed him afterward. Every single time, it got to him that he relied on his Lusus like that but he was grateful the aquatic-like guardian was there for him. He certainly wasn't complaining that he was, he needed him. As much as he hated to admit it, that much was a child relying on their parent, he relied on his Lusus for support and comfort. Food every now and again, though mostly comfort.


	4. Hopeless

Karkat had found his guardian outside, watching the fading light. He just sat down at his feet, not saying a word and watched with him. He usually did this whenever he was troubled, despite the severity or stupidity of what was bothering him. Crabdad never commented, not that he could, only giving a grunt to acknowledge his presence whenever he came around. Not that the other could say much more than that, at least he'd been acknowledged.

That's all he really wanted from his guardian, not some rough affection that would leave him aching in places he didn't care to think about. He watched the sun as it set, not looking directly at it but at the display in general. He didn't have a wish to become blind, not from staring at the sun. He quite liked being able to see...despite his lack of care when it came to everything now but survival.

Even if his life was currently the pitance of all hell and it's tortures, he survived. Though pain gnawed and tore at him daily, he endured for hope of a better day. For a chance that he might be invited back into society, though he knew all too well that his hope might be in vein. That he would die waiting, watching for signs of an invitation back into the world with his friends. A few stray, red colored tears dripped down into the golden sand and stained it red. The tears had been unwanted, yet he couldn't stop them from falling. Even as he wiped them away, he still felt the warmth from them on his face.

With the last rays of the sun, Karkat felt himself drifting back into sleep as he slumped against his Lusus's legs. Dreams returned, some haunting though most of a place where he could interact freely with his fellow trolls once more. Some were less than favorable, others he wished they would've gone on longer but dreams came and went. Nothing he could do to stop them from leaving, not even if he wanted to.

With the fading of dreams, Karkat bolted awake and looked around. He found himself back in bed, inside the building he had occupied. Crabdad was curled up nearby, guarding him as he had slept. He sighed, running his hands through his long hair. He noted that his hair had been let down, compared to the ponytail he had earlier. He supposed his tie worked itself free of his raven hair. He just laid back, resting his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling as he mulled over his dreams.

You are Sollux Captor and you're packing for a journey that could be a long one, one that may be fruitless even but you're tired of being here. Of being without someone who could provide a sarcastic comeback, Karkat had filled that role quite well and with him gone. There was no one anymore, not even Terezi with all of her sassy remarks could fill that role. You hate to leave, but you can't sit around anymore and do nothing.

It was time to find your friend and bring him back, though after these past sweeps. Who knew if he was even willing to return to the society who kicked him out and abandoned him. Knowing Karkat, he probably held a bitter grudge against them all. There wasn't much you could do but go after him and find out for yourself, if you could find him. You weren't leaving without a hefty amount of food, your laptop, or a way to defend yourself. Even though you had psychonic powers, it wouldn't hurt to bring a weapon of some kind along as well.

With everything set and ready, you heft your pack on and set out. This will be a long, hard journey but it was one you had to make while everyone else was asleep and no one would stop you. No one. You had to do this, for yourself. And for Karkat. If he was even willing to listen, you had freed your Lusus and allowed him to roam wherever he pleased since you wouldn't be back for awhile. Though it seemed he was going to follow you, you had figured as much and packed plenty of mindhoney for him to eat along the way. It was only a matter of portioning it out for him instead of letting him stuff his face with the stuff.

Your custodian was slow, but he'd be useful in the long run. Especially when you needed to have another heat source other than your own body, you knew it could get cold in where you were going to search. Though you were willing to risk it, fuck the cold and all of it's artic sting.

As the dark was starting to fade, you were growing tired. You had reached the end of the society you lived in, you stopped and looked back upon the collection of buildings. From a distance, there wasn't much to see. Not that there had ever been, even up close.

Turning your back to the housing units, you continue walking with your large Lusus behind you. Tired as you were, you weren't willing to stop and sleep. You wanted to put more distance between you and that place. You'd keep walking until you fall over from exhaustion, which was what had happened. It wasn't much longer, just enough so that you couldn't even see the place you left anymore. All had gone black, a dull sound filling your ears while you slept.

When you awoke, you found yourself face down in the sand. Who knew how much you had breathed in, if any? As you sat up to reach for your drink, you noticed your custodian nearby. He had been crouched not too far from where you were, you wonder just how long he had been there. It couldn't have been comfortable but you were awake now, so you both could get going to wherever it was you were headed.

You just wanted to find your friend...though it seemed pretty hopeless, you kept going. 


	5. Familiar Face

You sigh, running your hands through your hair and look around. You're growing tired of this..wasteland. Bitter cold at night, burning hot during the day when you're not inside. The building you occupy provides shelter from the harsh difference in temperatures but you find that it's rather plain...you're beginning to want to leave. To seek out somewhere new, but common sense tells you to stay put. That it would be too dangerous to just up and move in the extreme heat or bitter cold. Your Lusus, you know would advise against it as well.

With a sigh, you decide to boot up your husktop for old times' sake. You know all that will come from it is pain, but you can't help but want to see if any of your old friends are miserable about your disappearance or if they even care that you're gone. It's been so long that you'd even thought about logging onto your Trollian, you weren't even sure if it was still activated or if it had fallen into the inactive category of users. It had been so long...even as you signed in invisible so that no one saw you online, you scanned the names of the ones you called your friends.

Most of them were online, or logged in, at the very least but who knew if they were really there. They were probably off sleeping, chasing old ghosts, or who knew what. As usual, you couldn't tell anything for they really never posted status updates. If something had been bothering them, they would've made it known to someone's face. They weren't your concern anymore, why should you care? Yet...you did, you died a little every day in the knowledge that they probably had forgotten all about you. That you were no more than a dream, after all that you had been through. Good and bad, you couldn't help but think that they were having just as much fun without you than when you had been there before.

In irritation, you started to shut your husktop down before you were bombarded with offline messages. Most of them from Sollux, Terezi, and very few from Gamzee or anyone else. You wanted to read them, but hell. You didn't think you could handle going through them, reading what all had been said. For all you knew, they could be cursing at you in their irritation. They could just be taking their anger out on a troll that was no longer even online, you didn't want to find out. Instead, you closed the windows and shut your husktop down to conserve it's power. What those messages might say would bother you for a time, but in the end you would learn to just ignore it. It wasn't worth your time nor were they really important enough to read.

With a sigh, you sprawl out on the dusty floor and begin to trace lines through the dirt in an attempt to distract yourself from your loneliness that roared in the silence and your boredom. At least until Crabdad returned, he had gone somewhere without so much as a grunt or gutteral growl. He would return soon, and if not. You would go out and look for him, assuming he didn't come back to stop you venturing outside into the heat. You would probably wait until it got a little closer to sunset anyway. You didn't do well in the heat, your body provided all that you really needed and more. For now, though, you continued tracing lines through the dirt without even having a specific object or goal in mind.

When you noticed it was growing dark, you decided to get up and dust yourself off. With a glance at your meaningless drawings, you sighed and moved to erase all of what was there before Crabdad would see it. It would make him worry, not that the custodian didn't worry about you as it was. You didn't want him to worry anymore, it was something your guardian could do without.

You cleaned your hands and decided to venture out, your sickles strapped to your side and covered by a thick cloak that you took to wearing every evening when you ventured outside. Who was to say that you couldn't explore a little bit, it wasn't too hot nor too cold. Though you wouldn't have all night to explore, it was better than going out in the blistering heat to do so. Also, you knew that night time was when the larger predators would come out to hunt and prey on smaller ones. You probably wouldn't be able to escape from one unscathed should you encounter one. For now, you dismiss that fact and set out to the west where the sun was finally setting on the hot day.

You only hoped the wind didn't pick up so that you'd be able to find your way back easily enough, at least without Crabdad having to come find you and lead you back to the building again. You knew what would be waiting for you if that happened, Gog forbid you explore alone. It wasn't as though you were completely defenseless, though your sickles would probably save you from smaller creatures. They wouldn't do much good against larger predators out for an easy meal.

As the sun sank lower, you wrapped your arms around yourself and rubbed your arms to keep your blood flowing through them. You tried to still the chattering of your teeth, it usually occurred whenever your heat couldn't fight off the cold. Over the sounds you were making, you couldn't hear the sounds of sand shifting behind you as something approached. It wasn't until the creature was upon you that you were aware of it's presence. You spun just fast enough to catch a glimpse of it before it was on top of you, scratching, hissing, and clawing at you trying to incapacitate you or at least prevent you from being able to get away.

It's sheer, sudden weight alone was enough to knock you into a daze as you fell back upon the sand. A fierce snarl brought you out of that daze though, the claws up against your torso made you very aware of just how much trouble you were in if you couldn't escape. You began to struggle, pushing at the creature's face to try and get it off of you though it did little good. You fought and struggled, at least until you felt claws breaking through your skin as they tore through your cloak into your chest. You went suddenly still, even as those same claws raked down your body and laid you wide open.

It wasn't until your mind registered the sudden pain that you howled, flailing wildly to kick at the creature violently. While your sudden movements caused your blood to gush out over you and onto the dark gold sands, you didn't care. All you were focused on was getting free, you heard footsteps and a deep grunt that was unfamiliar to you. A voice that you had all but forgotten called your name, but it was fuzzy as darkness closed in on you fast. A pain tore through you, aside from the physical burn you felt in your sudden injuries. When the weight was lifted off of you, or rather, knocked off. You went still, your chest heaving as your blood continued spilling out.

Were you going to die from this? You were warm, then you were suddenly cold. Cold and shivering on the thick carpet of sands beneath you, your vision dimmed greatly. Even as you squinted to get a better look at who your savior was, you couldn't really tell who the dark figure above you was. All was going dark and silent, the only murmuring of words you heard before you passed out were. "Gog damn it...thay with me KK.." 


	6. Waking pain

The desert never seemed to end, it's unbearable heat baring down him and his Lusus who's shadow was cast over him as they trekked through the burning sands. It was taking longer than he liked, but he couldn't just leave his custodian behind. As dusk rolled in, he heard several faint sounds. A snarl and a cry, one that seemed familiar and at the same time, different. Maybe it was because he had not seen another troll for awhile, much less heard one.

He ran forward, leaving his Lusus to trail after him as he ran forward. A familiar face indeed, it was another troll and most likely the one he was searching for. Using his psychonic powers without much thought, he wrenched the creature away from Karkat though hardly in time to prevent a partial mauling. The pain that Karkat was enduring at the moment, it was almost too gruesome for him to look over the new and deep scars that bled a bright crimson. Sollux knelt, "fuck..hang in there, KK.." He pleaded, gathering the troll into his arms.

He snapped an order to his Lusus, who followed with a quickened pace. A pace that would've seemed impossible otherwise for the heavyset custodian, it wasn't long before they reached the building thanks to his custodian sniffing out the scent of the other custodian nearby. Faint as it was, it was useful for finding out where Karkat had been hiding out all this time. Taking the slimmer troll inside, he proceeded to strip him of his clothing and dress the injuries that recquired attention.

"Gog..KK..thay with me... Damn it...thay with me.." Sollux Captor murmured as he brushed his friend's hair out of his face, he had managed to stop the bleeding though the other troll seemed colder. Less lively, the Gemeni covered up the Cancer and curled up at his side with one arm over him. It had been a long day, he was tired and even though he didn't want to sleep for fear of letting the Cancer slip through his fingers having found him again after so long. He had passed out shortly after laying next to him, worming his way closer in said sleep to share what body heat and comfort he could.

When he next stirred, Sollux woke to the sound of silent taps as someone or something entered the building. He tensed at the possibility of what it could be, was it dangerous? Or was it simply Karkat's Lusus finally returning from wherever it had gone, it was hard to tell but his on Custodian didn't seem to perturbed by the creature's presence so he relaxed and sat up before he smoothed down his hair and readjusted his glasses.

Sollux had made himself at home on the bed and he wasn't about to move now, he would lay near Karkat until the shorter troll decided to wake. He kept him fed and hydrated while the days passed, though it wasn't until roughly five days later that the red-blooded troll awoke to find the other troll sprawled out beside him. At first, all Karkat could feel was pain though it was dull. It wasn't until moments later that he jerked forward, realizing what had happened though how he had been saved was a mystery. At least, until he looked over at his sleeping partner. Ignoring the ache in his chest, he settled back down and stared silently at the other troll.

Questions assaulted his mind, why was he here? How did he even know where to look? Would the others come to find him as well? Or was it just Sollux alone? He had so many unanswered questions he wanted to ask, but it'd be of no use while the other was sound asleep. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, one of his hands running up a set of bandages lightly to avoid disturbing them or reopening the injury that seemed to be healing up finally.

With an exasperated sigh, the red-blooded troll slipped from the bed and attempted to find a shirt that wasn't torn and bloody to pull on. It took him some time to get to where he'd stored his clothing to pull out a second shirt and put it on without upsetting his chest injuries. Afterwards, he sought out his Lusus who was standing guard outside with another Lusus. Sollux's custodian, he guessed and moved to sit at the feet of his own. It was nearing sunset once more, this time he would stay inside. Nothing could convince him to head out of his own will and abandon again, not after that nasty beast chased him down for an evening snack. He was still sore from it, though he didn't remember much more than those awful claws arcing above him before they came down to deal their fatal blows.

He shuddered involuntarily and huddled against one of his custodian's legs, wrapping an arm around it. Though he hadn't been the one to save him, he still clung to his guardian like a child clinging to a worn out toy. He rested his forehead against the hard, white leg and closed his eyes. He held fast, not wanting to move or have his custodian move away from him while he sat there. Normally, he wouldn't mind but this time. He didn't want him to go and leave him alone, Karkat clung to him like a lifeline. As though he was the only solid thing left in the world that wouldn't slip away or become intangible. 


	7. Why?

Karkat continued clinging to his custodian's leg, eying Sollux's warily from where he sat. Crabdad's clicks and grunts caught his attention, making him look up at his custodian. A claw came down, resting on his shoulder as he was suddenly hefted from the ground and coddled like a small child. As if on instinct, he put his arms around Crabdad's neck and clung to him, the claws of the Lusus wrapping around him. The slender troll soon fell asleep in his Lusus's arms, his head resting on his shoulder.

Karkat was still sleeping when Sollux emerged the run-down building in a panic, frantic to find the other troll. "KK!" it was clear the Sollux was in a state of panic, looking frantically back and forth. He kept at it until a grunt from his Lusus got his attention, his eyes passing over Karkat and his lusus to his own. He growled and pointed a claw at him, "don't grunt at me becauthe I will not thtop until I know where KK ith."

Said troll stopped talking, stopping the red-blooded troll he'd been looking for. Karkat was clinging to his Lusus like a young grub, sleeping as he was held. The sight almost made Sollux smile, laugh even. But he dared not wake his friend with such an action, he figured Karkat could use the sleep. Sollux just went and settled by his own Lusus, sighing as he leaned against him then closed his eyes. The tall Lusus dwarfed him, but it was nothing concerning to the yellow-blooded troll. He could easily handle his Lusus with his psiionic powers, though there'd be no need for it at the moment.

Sollux listened for sounds of movements though there weren't many, save for the occasional shift of fabric and shift of the two Lusus.

Several hours passed before a different kind of sound joined the orchestra of quiet shifts, grunts, clacking, and breathing. Sollux stirs, sitting up at the unfamiliar sound. He'd fallen asleep to the quiet lullabye the sounds had become, this one was new. Different than before. At first, he thought it was another predator or the one who'd attacked Karkat had come to finish what it had started. But nothing was quite that foolish to approach two large Lusus and the psiionic troll.

It was only Karkat waking up from his slumber, Sollux settled against his Lusus once more and closed his eyes. He listened to the quiet grumbling of his friend's voice, telling his Lusus to let him down. That he was fine, well enough to walk though it didn't sound like his Custodian bought it. Either way, Karkat was set down, albeit reluctantly by his Lusus. A stagger, but it was to be expected seeing as he was held all of this time while he slept. His legs had probably fallen asleep, or were just unsteady.

What Sollux didn't expect was the quiet thud next to him as Karkat seated himself next to him, and although his eyes were closed. The yellow-blooded troll could feel the scrutiny of his friend's gaze. Sollux said nothing, a silence stretching on between them as Karkat looked upon him in a fixated manner. The silence was broken by one word, one that was filled with doubt, distrust, cautious curiosity, and wonder. "Why?" Karkat asked bluntly, watching and waiting for a response.

"Why, what KK?" Sollux asked in turn, shifting his gaze as he opened his eyes to look upon him. Damn, he was in a bad shape but he wouldn't point it out. He figured Karkat knew that, it shocked him on levels he didn't ever contemplate and wasn't about to start thinking about those now.

"Why did you come after me? After all this time..why? I thought I was all but a fucking memory to you assholes." Karkat growled, it was clear he was trying to keep his voice from breaking and fighting back the red tears that threatened to fall. He was upset, and confused. Confused as to why Sollux, of all people, would show up. Upset that no one had come before now to find him, that no one had even stopped him from leaving.

Even hurt, Karkat looked fierce. Even moreso now that he lost a hell of a lot of weight, though he didn't look like he could harm a young pawbeast. He could probably still scrap with the best and come out on top, despite his emaciated form.

Sollux just sighed and smiled tiredly, he was worn from his journey here despite having stayed right beside Karkat in the makeshift bed and sleeping with him.  
A shrug before the response, "it's...not the same anymore. Not without you," the psiionic troll finally admitted, albeit hesitantly.

Karkat glared his way, scrutinizing him as if trying to figure out if he was lying or telling truth. A frown played across the mutant blooded troll's features before they relaxed as Karkat sighed. He just leaned against Sollux, the warmth of another's body was foreign to him after all this time. He'd all but just forgotten what it felt like to be near someone, someone other than Crabdad. Though he cared for his Lusus deeply, it wasn't the same as when he was near another troll. Crabdad's body was hard and cool to the touch, it left him battle ready at all times when the time came. Even when the Lusus slept, it was hard to creep past him when he was nearby; poised to strike at whatever tried going in. Or out.

Sollux was surprised when Karkat leaned against him, a hand going through those tangled ebony locks of his. He felt Karkat tense but said nothing of it, sliding the hand free of his hair and resting it on the other's shoulder as if to draw him closer but he didn't He figured Karkat was still..tense..about letting anyone near him, let alone pull him closer to an embrace. Especially in his current condition, however his hand was not pushed away. Not yet, anyway. He wouldn't be surprised if it was, whatever reason would be justifiable.

It was silent once more, Sollux found this one uncomfortable. He didn't know why, he had a sudden urge to break it. "Tho...your hair ith longer, KK." It was something Sollux had just plucked out of thin air, unsure as to what to say. While it was true, he never thought he'd see the day where Karkat Vantas would stop cutting his hair and just let it grow out into the semi-tangled mess it was now. It wasn't bad, it was as though it had been tousled in his sleep though instead of the usual result of it being spiky. It was entwined with itself, creating the view Sollux was looking at now. 


	8. Surprise Wakeup Call

"What of it?" Karkat growled, bristling of the topic about his hair. It wasn't something he'd ever discussed, he hadn't been interested then and he certainly wasn't interested in discussing it now. Why should he, anyway? He looked away from Sollux, staring at the ground as he traced random designs into the sand.

Damn, if it weren't so awkward now...to just be around the guy. He recalled a time where they could just sit in the same room, doing their own thing. Sollux would be coding, and Karkat..well, he'd be either reading or watching his movies on the other side of the room. But, that was then and this was now. Things had changed, drastically. And it made Karkat uncomfortable.

Sollux sighed, "I wath jutht trying to make converthathion." The yellow blooded troll leaned back on his hands, staring up at the dark sky. He should be happy that he at least managed to find the other, but his remarks were just as caustic as ever. If not moreso now than before he left.

Karkat stood, leaving Sollux with the pair of Lusus and returned to his bed. Sollux watched him leave, noting the evident stiffness of his movements. Was he in pain? While it was true, he had bandages. He didn't have anything with him to numb the pain, least of all something that would distract Karkat.  
At least, nothing he'd enjoy at first.  
A slow smile worked its way onto his face, playing across his lips. He let Karkat think that he'd gotten the drift to leave him be, just continuing to sit there. He stretched out on the sand, closing his eyes. Maybe he would rest a bit more, before tackling the problem of Karkat's anger.  
With two custodians to stand guard, he wouldn't have to move inside. At least, not until it got cold where he couldn't sleep from it being so cold.

Sollux fell asleep quickly, curling against the side of his Custodian as he slept. Several hours passed before he was roused from slumber by a concerned grunt that came from his Lusus, he should've known that the other would rouse him from sleep when it got too cold for him to stay outside.  
With a sigh and a yawn, Sollux sat up and stretched his lithe frame out.  
Another grunt told him that his Lusus was serious, he growled at his Lusus to silence him and stood. "I'm going, I'm going...damn."

He made his way towards the building, peeking in before slipping inside. It was still cold, but not as cold as it was outside. He wasn't out in the open air this way, if the winds decided to start blowing there'd be little danger for him here to suffer from. Quietly, he stalked across the place where the bed and probably Karkat were. It was dark, so he couldn't see all that well and he wouldn't risk a light for Karkat to see him coming. He'd stumble through the darkness and hope that he didn't wake the other if he were sleeping.

When he found the bed, he pulled his shoes and glasses off before climbing in next to a warm body. Said warm body seemed to tense, though it was twisting and turning to snuggle into his own lithe frame. Sollux, hesitantly, wrapped his arms around the other as he snuggled close and drew him closer.  
He drew the blankets that were on the bed over them both, he placed a kiss to the top of the other's head before he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to drag him back under for the remainder of the night.

When Karkat woke up, Sollux knew that he would not be pleased in the slightest. However, Sollux was out like a light and did not give a fuck at this very moment. What was to come, he would deal with when the red-blooded troll awoke in his rage fits.

- Morning -

With the coming dawn, Sollux's ears were greeted with the irritated voice of one Karkat Vantas as he struggled and attempted to twist free of Sollux's arms.

The Psiionic troll just tightened his grasp, keeping the former leader pinned effectively against his body. It wasn't until Karkat had resulted to biting that he actually woke up, retaliating in the process. His psiionic powers enabled him to silence Karkat, albeit unintentionally and kept him from biting a second time.  
Despite the blood that slid down his neck, he turned his attention to Karkat himself. "You...do not bite me...I'm the one who thaved your thorry ath from that thand beatht."

Sollux swatted Karkat's ass as though he were a grub to be punished, Karkat did not respond well.

Said troll's struggling returned full force and with vigor as he fought harder to escape the psiionic's grasp to get away from him.  
It wasn't long before Sollux gave up and let the other go, watching as he practically flung himself from the bed. He couldn't help but laugh and cringe slightly at the heavy thud, knowing it had to hurt.

"What the fuck, Sollux!" Karkat snarled, rolling to his feet with some difficulty. A hand was held against one of the bandaged areas, causing Sollux to frown with the belief that he'd opened his own wound.

"Fuck, KK. Thtop being thuch a hardath and get over here." Sollux patted the bed, eyes still ladened with sleep. This wasn't what he had in mind but that was Karkat for you, always doing something other than what you planned. A sigh escaped him, he moved to his pack and returned with another roll of bandages just in case. When Karkat was on the bed, Sollux pinned him down and straddled him to keep him from getting free. "Hold thtill," he warned as he pushed up Karkat's shirt to check for fresh blood. Fortunately, nothing seemed to have torn open. Not yet, anyway.

Sollux blatantly ignored Karkat's protests and struggles, remaining where he sat as he straddled his waist. Karkat's growls and snarls didn't faze him, he'd been around the other long enough in the past that it was all for show mostly. Hands trailed through the long, ebony hair as he leaned down to press a light kiss to the struggling troll's cheek. "Thtop thtruggling, you'll make it worthe on yourthelf.." Sollux advised, letting him up after several moments and just settled next to him as he drew the blankets back over himself to go back to sleep.

This left Karkat befuddled and confused, not to mention irritated at the sudden actions from the other. A sigh escaped him before he settled back down and curled up a separate sheet, he would attempt sleeping a little longer though he didn't know how successful he'd be. 


End file.
